"Hammer, if I don't begin and end every sentence with the word hammer, the device attached to my heart will explode hammer" said Bobby Skids, telemarketer. With a deep breath, he

She looked at me with amorous eyes. She breathed heavily, covered in sweat and drool as if struggling to exist. But her glare had more strength than 20 men. Her stomach gurgled...

The day I went to heaven was possibly one of the best days of my life (life?). God was pretty swell, and not having to piss was good, but the best thing was

Her smile was as infectious as the plague, even to the boys who were told by their fathers not to ever, ever bring an Indian girl home. I didn’t care about any of that. One kiss

The first thing that hit me after the crash was the sound. Or the lack thereof, I should say. One minute we were traveling toward L.A. at 100 mph, the next we were buried in a pile

My wife's parents sat at the dinner table. They judge everything I do. The green beans were tepid, the butter cold, but they liked the meatloaf. I said, "You should it's your daugh

Yup. She was definitely dead. Oh Jesus, this is not good. Not good at all.

He walked down the line paying his respects. A somber faced line. Wet Red eyes. He leaned in and hugged her, he said, "Sorry for your loss," and he pickpocketed her

She chambered a round and unloaded unto the dashboard. Her OCD with following rules wasn't going to keep her from speeding to her wedding. Without a speedometer, loopholes emerged

To many times he had been in this position before. Not all too often he had been pleased by the way that she touched and loved him. She was a vixen, and her long blonde hair flowed

she woke up and had no idea where she was. no memory of what has happened the nite before. It was just a blur. She found a key and someone else's wallet in her pocket...

So this is where father kept his so called pornos. Under the bed. How clever. She wondered if mom knew. She wondered is mom watched them with him. Was that how she was conceived?

If I could look like someone from the movies, I'd look like Lee Marvin. He had a presence and somehow got the girl, even if he had to kill her first. I turned from the mirror and

The Morning light shown bright into the window above. I raised my head and looked instead upon the lass so beautiful next to me. My glaze is cast at this sweet lass

Amelia kinda knew she shouldn't have married the landscape architect when she cooked him a pie and he complained that "the lattice work wouldn't hold more than three strands of

The man across from her smiled back. Jen had to catch herself and remember why she was there. It was so hard to maintain the distance all the time. Jim touched her hand and turned

Whitebait! Get yer whitebait here! Genocide on a plate! Mitchell's a great man, he is! Come and but your genocide!

Trixie, the misshapen dachshund, was darling even though

Ellie sat in her cube seething. For 45 years she had written the award winning deb column for Town and Country. Now demoted to advertorials all because she refused to write about

Parry, dodge, spin! I loved the Daffy Duck / Robin Hood short cartoon from the 40s.