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  • 13
    Avatar
    I was sitting wondering how many times you could drop your ipad before it actually, you know, broke for real. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a cat with wings chasing a robin
    Finished
    2019-11-18 07:29:49
    Took
    6 years, 164 days, 12 hours, 26 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 56
    Avatar
    "Stealing from children and murdering mimes, these are a few of my favorite crimes!" Julie Andrews was drunk again. She twirled into the groping mitts of the notorious producer,
    Finished
    2019-11-17 15:58:02
    Took
    5 years, 318 days, 8 hours, 11 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 16
    Avatar
    It's not even a question of 'if', but really 'how often' do you see something that you know is there and then you look again and it's gone, or changed. That's
    Finished
    2019-11-17 12:50:29
    Took
    5 years, 338 days, 7 hours, 16 minutes, 28 seconds
  • 3
    Avatar
    Había una vez un chico que se llamaba Andrey y que no llevaba nada de ropa.
    Finished
    2019-11-17 11:09:08
    Took
    5 years, 300 days, 18 hours, 32 minutes, 16 seconds
  • 15
    Avatar
    I tend to evaluate my life decisions in long car trips. Tonight was no different, one single burden briefly illuminated by the alternating glow of street lights.
    Finished
    2019-11-17 10:07:56
    Took
    5 years, 5 days, 20 hours, 39 minutes, 8 seconds
  • 18
    Avatar
    "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." My stepfather's mom was known to pronounce that old chestnut at the drop of a hat. But as a kid, I always thought she said "abcess," since
    Finished
    2019-11-16 14:28:28
    Took
    4 years, 304 days, 22 hours, 59 minutes, 48 seconds
  • 27
    Avatar
    That old bag is made of cells. Cells are bags of liquid and proteinaceous glob. They contain organelles. Organelles are just smaller bags with more liquid and glob. Tea bag theory
    Finished
    2019-11-14 19:10:16
    Took
    5 years, 315 days, 19 hours, 39 minutes, 45 seconds
  • 16
    Avatar
    When the chief offered his daughter the interpreter told me this was an offer I couldn't turn down. "I am already married. Tell him that. Point out my wedding ring." "Why does that
    Finished
    2019-11-14 17:01:11
    Took
    136 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes, 41 seconds
  • 33
    Avatar
    Thanks, I already did. Help yourself by helping others. You don't believe that chicken. I don't either. A nice country ham has no regrets; a good one has a few. But the best swine
    Finished
    2019-11-14 12:31:27
    Took
    1 year, 217 days, 12 hours, 21 minutes, 30 seconds
  • 38
    Avatar
    The Sun has feelings too, you know, just like you. He is just too polite to show them. He doesn't want to be one of "those" stars. It is what it is but he doesn't want it not to be
    Finished
    2019-11-14 00:16:44
    Took
    2 years, 173 days, 18 hours, 25 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 31
    Avatar
    Rules to follow if you want to successfully survive a zombie event:/ Never reveal your real name.
    Finished
    2019-11-13 12:28:22
    Took
    2 years, 176 days, 11 hours, 14 minutes, 46 seconds
  • 33
    Avatar
    Have you ever wondered what lies beyond perception? It wouldn't be fair to say that Frida was blind; she could see clearly in fact, some say even more so than your average person.
    Finished
    2019-11-12 20:41:10
    Took
    42 days, 6 hours, 35 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 27
    Avatar
    Once upon a time, there was a frog and a bog and a log. Sometimes the frog left the log in the bog for some grog. One day,
    Finished
    2019-11-12 20:06:17
    Took
    6 years, 195 days, 34 minutes, 24 seconds
  • 89
    Avatar
    I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus was playing on the old Victrola; I had just checked back in from a brief blackout session. But Santa had Mommy bent over the sofa arm sans knickers
    Finished
    2019-11-12 19:35:00
    Took
    225 days, 17 hours, 46 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 47
    Avatar
    Kenny's deep, dark secret was that he liked to write fanfiction.
    Finished
    2019-11-12 19:10:48
    Took
    4 years, 25 days, 20 hours, 50 minutes, 33 seconds
  • 21
    Avatar
    The vampire laid down on the silk sheets feeling tired.The idea of getting a coffin crossed his mind and it made him smile.She was trustworthy,but maybe he should make ajustments.
    Finished
    2019-11-12 18:47:12
    Took
    5 years, 148 days, 17 hours, 40 minutes, 38 seconds
  • 21
    Avatar
    The Rat-King tweeked his wiskers and observed Sewer Kingdom from high up on his throne (which is basically a pipe). Rat underlings scuttled to and fro
    Finished
    2019-11-12 17:44:58
    Took
    4 years, 148 days, 7 hours, 58 minutes, 10 seconds
  • 41
    Avatar
    In the dying days of World War II Hitler sat in his bunker eating a boiled egg. Suddenly a time traveller appeared from nowhere and pointed a gun at him "Hitler", he said "My name
    Finished
    2019-11-11 21:21:14
    Took
    6 years, 167 days, 11 hours, 55 minutes, 16 seconds
  • 46
    Avatar
    One day a man walks into a room and sees a ghost
    Finished
    2019-11-11 20:59:30
    Took
    4 years, 109 days, 9 hours, 35 minutes, 2 seconds
  • 40
    Avatar
    Zolda was an extra large medium. Bob was really scared of her, but he needed to make contact with his late wife to find out where she had hidden the family jewels. Zolda's chins
    Finished
    2019-11-11 20:39:58
    Took
    6 years, 14 days, 17 hours, 8 minutes, 26 seconds
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