When I made an involuntary exit from anesthesia I was disturbed to discover my surgeon, Dr. Mallard wearing google glass and googling appendectomy whilst elbow deep in my giblets.

OK - who here is Lady’s overprotective boyfriend & what did you do with her body?

Jumpin' Jehosaphat clanked down the hall at midnight. J.J. was a cat with a cast in a house that was all halls. He loved this mischievousness, frightening the kids into thinking

i have an asian friend his name is da balsakdoodle he is a good friend

One, ordinary, evening was about to fold in on itself, and this is how it started. I was feeding the dragon it's daily human sacrifice when

Candy Crush Saga. Part II: The Revenge of Queen Frostine and Grandma Nutt. When we last left off, the CEO of a Fortune 500 company burned Candy Land to the ground.

HereIsAnEspeciallyLongLineThatIAmWritingToDemonstrateALittleBugInTheWonderfulSiteCalledFoldingStoryWhichIsKnownFarAndWideToGenerateTheMostDelightfulTenLineStoriesOnTheWorldWideWeb

and so it begins

Those that know, know that they know but those that don't know, don't know they don't know.

He was a slobbish lowlife. He lounged around on his couch all day, downing a few bags of potato chips every few minutes. One day, his life changed when a young salesman arrived at

Seven days since my last taste of poultry. Haven't had as much as a bean in three. And the last of the water... I look down at my cat, she's as thin as a paperclip. Why, why did

7 chews, one more than average. Was it fatigue? I recorded my results in the Graham Cracker Eighth column. I pulled at the perforations; crumbs fell. To account for this, I divided

Ana was carrying 2 huge bags of groceries back to her flat near the Gare du Nord. A kerb-crawler was following her, door open: "Viens ici cherie" "You think I'm a tart with snacks?

How we have heard of the might of the kings! We have heard of those princes' heroic campaigns. There was Shield Sheafson, scourge of many tribes, a wrecker of mead benches, rampagi

Bowling is my favorite sport. I like to swing two 15 pounders to be a dork. When I roll a gutterball I let loose with a caterwaul. Splitting pins on every frame,

"Frrrrrrrrrrrrt!" I sighed. Uncle Luther was at it again. Every year he'd sit there at our family holiday party and pretend that the house was creaking. And every year we'd pretend

I turned on the traditional yule log on my UHF station. There was the bright fire crackling with light carols playing in the background. Suddenly, feet stumbled across the screen.

The robot "Professorn 1000" arrived in a humble IKEA box. I hasty started to put it together. After much work i found out that one piece was missing. I turned it on anyway and

Ding dong! At the door stood Francois Hollande with a bag of croissants waggling his eyebrows. I clutched at the door frame, my world imploding as my nether regions exploded with

I counted the homemade meatballs in my homemade chilli sauce and froze. I was dealing with a prime number.