When I came downstairs Tuesday morning, my dog told me she'd eaten the leftover hors doerves and now had a tummyache. In response, I threw a blanket on her head and sauntered over

My Aunt Martha had terrible breath. But how could I tell her when I knew full well that she was leaving me 2.3 million dollars in her will? Keeping my eyes fixed on her pock-marke

This is the greatest love story ever told. It began when he'd become intrigued by the quirky way

I program pet Apps .My best seller's 'Mouser'. It trains cat's hand eye coordination. Or 'One Fish Two Fish' the screensaver for lonely goldfish. Prop the iPad against the aquarium

It was a bright cold day in April & the clocks were striking thirteen. Winnie Smoot suppressed a shudder of Triskaidekaphobia as she entered the Bldg. Her target lived on the 13th

A girl named Axel sat at her computer her stylus gliding across the black of her tablet. "People run in circles." She sang with the white earbuds spouting music into her ears.

The UPS driver stared intensely at me. "Do you want Santa's recipe for hot chocolate?" Of course I do, I replied!!! He shrugged. "Cool, here's what you do. Add three

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.

Oh MAN! I also just f'ed up somebody's folding story and feel bad about it. Dammit anyway!

Pssst, hey, psst, hey you.... yes you, come, come. I'm gonna tell you a story so epic that it will make you take a step back and analyse your wretched miserable little life. Ready?

What's it all about? Apparently, either being a freaky bisexual invisible horse-riding singer, a super handsome ridiculously accurate ball thrower, or a top heavy anorexic female.

It was the final round of the gurning competition. Peter and Hans stared at each other expressionessly from across the room. The crowd was tense and anxious as Peter went first.

Good morning gentlemen, as you all probably know we are gathered here today to pay our respects to our dear leader, James Jameson McJames III, who sadly passed away due to his

Cats seemed to be the most adaptable to dialogs with the Robot AI overlords.

As usual, Jack was sitting in the corner eating his Christmas pie. But this year, when he stuck in his thumb, he pulled out a Series M-421 miniature cranioptimeter.

Sometimes I hear my wife talking on the phone and I'm like, "What in the hell is she blathering about?" Ned sipped his Stolis and growled, "Wives? Wives? Well, what in the hell

"Old fashioned,but worth the effort." "High maintenance.Southern heritage" "Gothic,has shingles,lice, skeletons in the closet & bats in the belfry." Intrigued by the last listing

"Afar Lugbúrz! at sapat kok-ishi. Afar vadokanuk, At sapat kok-ishi!"

Vlastomil Ruparkhin really just wanted to hang out with friends, eat Russian Cheeseburgers, and play guitar by the river. But one night St. Sergius appeared to him in a dream and

Choking on foetid air, I traversed the entryway to the blasted tomb, within which a teeming brood of pestilent vermin had fed upon my forebears for millennia. I, P. H. Craftlove,