It was the final round of the gurning competition.

It was the final round of the gurning competition. Peter and Hans stared at each other expressionessly from across the room. The crowd was tense and anxious as Peter went first.

Hans appealed to the judges in protest. Hans claimed he had seen Peter take performance enhancing drugs. It was a shock to the Gurning community when ecstasy was found in

Peter's teddy bear. Han's didn't even feel bad when they ripped the bear apart right in front of a crying Peter. That's what drug using cheater's get, he thought. The Gurning comm

unication device was a soul replicator. What Peter didn't know was that Hans had captured the elemental essence of the Teddy bear in the device. This would allow him to replicate

the teddy and Hans the Warload of his clone army. Peter did all he could to avoid Hans from obtaining the unication device, he tried magic spells, called Gandalf, pinged Aragon & L

egolas, SMSed Treebeard to no avail. Hans lead his minion toy soldiers and animated barbies in a merciless battle. When Hans grasped the unication device there was nothing Peter

Could do to defeat Treebeard and the Ents. Sauron was hiding in his lair far away, eating steak. There was a smorgasbord for everyone at the victory garden. The cats played with

stuffed hobbits and hairy dwarven babies. Frodo discovered what Sauron was up to and decided to use his amazing super charged

super bad party ring ($only $4.99 plus S & H) to make himself invisible. It didn't work. So Frodo danced around Sauron until Sauron slapped him silly with one stroke of lightening.

Frodo was befuddled, "How did my dance not work?" He asked. Sauron stared, then hurtfully stated "Because it was not the crazy dance." With a flash, Frodo became crazily dead.