Billy Bob Biggins Jr. was roaring drunk when he rode his horse into Honky Tonk Badonkadonk and lassoed up

The girl rested her head on my lap. I could feel her warmth tickle me as I stroked her hair. Everything was perfect. The way she was, the way we were. Though things were not the

Her face shows sighs of confusion before her training takes and she says , I'm afraid we can't do that , sir . ' 'Why not ?' demands the Guy .

Evaporated cane syrup. Really? You think we are dumb enough at this co-op to not know that this is sugar? Gluten-free? Milk-free? Fat-free? Is there anything left in this food?

The turtle just sat there and stared at him. Two could play at this game. If this bastard wasn't going to blink then the turtle sure as hell would not blink. Stare down.

"You, put down the raccoon NOW!" The cop's pointed pistol made the point. So he turned to the raccoon and said, "You smell like garbage."

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover Vanilla Ice.

"I triple foo dog dare you!" Tony whispered giving me a fierce look. He had removed the indian fetish from his pocket and dangled the foo dog before me sinisterly. I knew the curse

The green-bellied, purple-elsewhere dinosaur evaluated his paunch in the floor-length mirror. Pacing, he debated on skipping the show's 10yr reunion. What would Baby Bop think?

The mayor cut the ribbon. "I hereby declare.. this building... the largest strip mall... in North America!"

I suddenly had an unexplainable craving for

"hello and welcome to this years spaghetti eating challenge!"

The day the washing machines attacked started like any other. I remember sitting lazily in the dining room, munching on cereal, when I heard a scream come from the laundry room. I

Who would have thought that Yuru was capable of murder in cold blood! He looked away from the monitor, his eyes tired and sleepy after looking at a screen for 167 years.

The world, how does one describe it?

The Insect Lord sent the infestation of cockroaches careening into the next house. The night preened in swamp gas, the hypopnea of slumped trees a gentle rustling in the moonlight.

As soon as I changed the tire on the van,

I sat in class. Mindlessly typing. Trying my best just to get through the assignments without throwing a computer out the window. Technology just has never been my thing.

Tell me why? The teacher says. "I dunno" Bruno mumbles. "I just hate it here. I miss my friends in Berlin. This place smells. I had to do something. Anything." He tries not to cry.

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful but horny princess.