Keith had stumbled on the winning combination of monosyllabic AND grumpy quite by accident. But when he used this technique on his sister's best friend's cousin, the effect wa

"I'm back" She whispered tauntingly into her victims ear. "*Giggle* D'ya miss me. Hmm!! Did'ya did'ya!! " Choking on his own blood the man desperately tried to reply. There would b

He used a sock puppet to pick up beautiful women.

"I'm a fountain of blood, in the shape of a girl!' screamed Björk. "All is full of love! My name's Isobel!" This was the worst yet - nothing could contain her as she raved and

I chopped apples, put them into a dish. Flicked off some sliced slug (organic!), slapped on some pastry. In the oven for a random amount of minutes. I am a Domestic bloody Goddess

My uncle was obsequious, purple & clairvoyant, pompous, obese & ate cactus, dull, boring & omnipresent & criticized things he didn't know about. "He needs his knees removed!" said

It was a gay joy. Just divine and absolutely fabulous. We held hand in hand gazing at the round rainbow's curve, so tremendously endowed, it was.

"What do you get when you cross a hot dog, a ball of yarn and a pink flamingo with an ice cream cone and a keyboard?" .... silence. Hmm. Tough crowd.

hi hiu hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi

So are you allowed to trim during Movember? I'm really not sure what the rules here are. I don't want to have to sacrifice my prostate due to a technicality or anything.

You are a D.A.P., a Depressed Anxiety Person.

In a ship on the open sea, I stood at the helm. "Cap'n!" my faithful servant said. I turned to see him waving around a baby tyrannosaurus. "It finally hatched, Cap'n!" he cried.

"Firebrand chili will put hair on your chest, and a hole in your duodenum, said the sign outside." "Well, spoon me a bowl. Maybe it'll put hair on my bald pate too." said

Nancy Drew took a long drag of the joint and handed it to one of the Hardy Boys. "Work's been slow," she said. "Us, too." She pushed a Candyland playpiece across the map thoughtful

ribbit.

The blonde was red ...

We were on the Budapest-Prague train. The American opposite was infuriating. He'd paid my excess in dollars as the conductor had refused forints or sterling. But he wouldn't accept

"Aye, a comely lass you aarrrrr. How'd ye like to play me bagpipes?" These & many other foreign accent pick-up lines will be yours, for the low low price of 19.95. What are you

My boat's too big big to get me to France.

The protesters gathered outside the palace, chanting "The End is HERE!" many people had no idea what the large crowd was doing, It was a great day to be on Alderaan! The Birds were