Once upon a time, it was a dark and stormy night. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and I took the road less traveled. Call me Ishmael. A screaming comes across

Hello, my name is Rupert Toshiba, i work with computers and enjoy playing on my laptop all the time. I once got a virus, it didn't work for ages so to resolve this i threw it!!!!!

Yesterday, the Weights and Measures Board has discovered that a soul's mass dropped significantly since a decade ago. Are we less burdened? Where did it go?

Jimmy loved the ocean, but he couldn't stay afloat without his yellow ducky inner tube. On a particularly foggy Pacific morning, his inner tube popped when he brushed up against

If I know what I know, because I knew it, and I can't know what I don't know, can I intuit?... If I intuit, I must have knew it, so my plea must be "I'll do it!" When "I'll do it"

It was dark and cramped in there. The girl faces were hidden behind thick layers of cheap slutty make-up and dirty smears of semen. Enforcing their lack of privacy, I

Harrison Chalmers, heir to the vast noodle empire, vanished at sea in the winter of 1841. Some say he fell overboard; maybe he was pushed. The Flying Spaghetti Monster was yet un

This is the story of how I, Frank Burgstein, humble professional coprophiliac, got to be the first pope who wasn't Catholic, and the only pope to convert the whole world.

"Com'on Men! Do you want to live forever?" Sarge yelled as we attacked the next pill box. I decided then that I did. I packed up my rifle and bayonet and flagged a taxi.

"Well, actually..." was her favorite phrase.

1. Irish Setter 2. The Journey 3. The Dog Show 4. Danny's Humiliation 5. Red's Education 6. The Leaves Rustle 7. Partridge Dog

Anjinsan, downed the ice cold ginger beer and belched. He saw a movement behind the Fusuma and quietly grasped the hilt of his wakizashi.

I got 399 freakin' points!!!!!!!

It was ironic that the failed satellite that re-entered the atmosphere and struck Hilary dead one morning as she struggled with her writer's block was named "inspiration" by NASA.

What if Finn and Jake were evil and the Ice King was good?

There once was a lobster from Rochester

Question: Do the perpetrators of the Gurtvin Invasion hail from Gurt, Gurtv, Gurtvin, or some other assemblage of vowels and consonants? The answer

"Any cavities, Doc?" He smiled perfectly. The dentist puzzled over the x-ray. "Um, no..." His patient's teeth were all exactly the same size.

With a loud click, the door shut behind him. He was in a sterile white room. A voice droned, "Mars Sense Deprivation test: Subject A-4." The only thing in the room was a slinky.

I've waited so long, I don't even remember what it's like to be with you. This is why I'm guilty. I mean, I should remember something so important, right? I remember in one way, bu