The widow glanced at her watch and waited impatiently for the will to be read. It was almost sundown and if he was going to ruin it by showing up as a vampire, this would be his

There was nothing strange about Marvin. His mother had reassured him. Others might wonder about his

The 13 Helgas churned in anger, filling Osh Kosh with sounds that were whey too loud. See, they hated margarine. Corn oil is for wimps, they'd mutter. Real men like saturated

Buddy bear was a Kodiak lookin fella about 19 feet tall. I took his island sized paw and said "

The mouse scurried down the hall with a ball of cheese and a map that gave the exactly location of the final piece of the puzzle. Of all four hundred pieces, this would finally do

There were half eaten boxes of cereal. A Manhattan skyline of the new generic organic cereals that'd cropped up since Trader Joe's. She never finished a box, just bought another

"So where are ya headed?", the cab driver asked, peering into his smudged rearview mirror for a quick glance at his passanger. That glance turned into a double take when he noticed

Alphabetizing benefits catalogers, dare even fancies? Guess he's in, just kindof lax mentioning nothing of potential. Query reaction since they understand

Stan hardly ever ventured out any more. He was stuck inside, mesmerized by his massive

Ariel felt PR was her calling. With a dash of her pen, problems became features. She often felt that the world would be better off if God had been in PR.

The land of endless roses spread beneath Cthuly in his hot air balloon. He sighed, he was melancholy. How was he supposed to be the hero? His purple octopus friend piped up & said,

Gary always wondered - what it's like to be "the One". The term was not correct as it was, considering that there was significantly more of them now - but it was a Rite. Still,

He knew he'd be stuck here on the john for a while, so he picked up a reader's digest. Good thing they write these to be read in the space of an average bowel movement, he thought.

The Charmeleon yawned, his feet dragging as he stumbled out from his rocky den. The sun had already climbed over the mountain's peak by now; the lizard had slept very late indeed.

The phrase “super vigilante deal” bounced around my head like a .22 shell inside a thick skull. The only other time I’d heard that phrase was the night everything had jumped off

I was at a fork in the road. I had to decide whether I wanted to pursue a career in poetry or professional wrestling. On the one hand, professional wrestling would allow me to

They said it was the second coming. The clouds were blood red and raining bats.Tarantulas grew opposable thumbs, and began to giving incredible reviews to horrible movies.

All she ever wanted was to be loved. But people weren't capable of it. They envied her too much. She was too smart, too stylish, too beautiful and as a result, jealousy was all

"Pie in the sky," Ralph chuckled to himself. "What a stupid expression."

If there's one thing I can't stand about 'Cranky Dave', it's the way that as soon as you've finished eating, he always, and I mean ALWAYS