Sheila's face became somber and she hugged tight a tiny ‘Elmo’ who started shaking and giggling like a schizophrenic epileptic. It was apparent who wore the pants in his family.

The hipster at the bar look like Frank Sinatra on a 60's album cover. What goes around, she thought. Still, he was cute, in an earnest way, so she bought him a drink and

Luella Maple Thorpe had been cheated of the ultimate American pedigree. A Mayflower ancestor. Instead, Jebulun Maple had opted for a cheaper cabin on the Speedwell. The trip was

Storm clouds drifted across his bedroom floor. It'd be an awful night & he could hear harps foretelling. The violins stabbed at the air. Whatever nightmare awoke him wasn't over.

James sat next to Jose and wept pathetically. They both hand three children and were out of work. Jose looked up and waved off a cup of tea. The robots were even doing that job.

soon king apple fell from the tree and demanded to be eaten but something happened during the fall that

I knew this inevitable day would come. Poppy, the ventriquist, hopped onto the stage

"ZOMBIE PONIES" was the rallying cry at Slickmo Toys Unlimited. They had already lined up the syndicated cartoon show, kid's cereal and temporary tatoos. Their next step,

She cackled over the screams of the children. She wasn't accustomed to cackling, but it was all she could do not to piss herself every time one begged for help. Standardized tests

Let me tell you, being Noah's neighbors on the cul de sac is no picnic. All that builder racket, and I know for a FACT that that friggin ark is one cubit into my lawn. I've a good

Baking cookies required stamina once fossil fuels had disappeared. You had to hire an Olympic cyclist to run the generator for twenty damned minutes to get the oven to a steady

Sitting down in front of the laptop, she placed the tiara on her head and checked her teeth for lipstick. Last time she played chat roulette there were too many

Larry was the misunderstood Stooge.

Everything was fine when the birds stopped singing and the wind no longer blew, but once our reflections started lying,

The kindling would get things started, but they hadn't had time before the sun set to get any real firewood. Each of them knew that when the light went out, it was over. It would

Sheila was never the brightest. They told her she couldn't pour piss out of a boot if they wrote directions on a heel - she didn't get it, of course. But one day Dr. Milo Krazinski

I realized why my father, even when drunk, only pounded on my bedroom door to wake me in the morning. I suddenly felt somehow responsible for my mother leaving. Reaching for my

He was stewing in his Italian Sportscar. He had the leather gloves to prove it. He shifted gears and couldn't get the Russian giant out of his head. He thought of the statue

Michelle Bachmann stirred her cauldron and added the final ingedient to her stupidity elixir. It smelled right, but you can only tell by taste if it IS right. She filled a goblet

He held his breath and handed her the envelope. Her man's last words were written on it, and they were for his wife. She paused and opened it, grimacing. His wife would never see.