"Kill 'em! Kill 'em all!" The captain shouted over the booming of the cannons. "Show no mercy - you cowards didn't join the Galactic Fleet for nothin'!" He grips his laser gun and

Hello, my name is Arnold.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity,

You're listening to 106.4 FM, "The Krill", the only radio station playing exclusively beluga whale mating calls put to a metronome. Next up, we have that hot single, "My Blowhole

There were five of them in the room, but only two still lived. Karen stood, narrowed eyes never leaving Geoff. "Which one of us did this?" he asked, voice thick. She didn't know.

Margins in art textbooks are intended for doodles, not notes. As "Italia: Dove i Nudi Sono Grandi" was handed down annually, its stunning pen collaboration outstripped "David" and

"Later," said Angela Merkel huskily, "mit der whip und die kinky Bavarian boots." Obama, listening in on his secret red phone couldn't help giggling. "Who's she talking to?" he ask

I stepped across the threshold of the decrepit house and into the open air. A cold hand grasped my wrist, and I turned around to see a pale face. "Don't leave me..."

I woke up in a hospital...I think it was a hospital...in pain. People dressed in white were surrounding me, looking down at me. But I couldn't talk. I looked down at myself. I was

"A window cleaner me " read the side of the van, but it was filled with electronics and a half mile above the desert, operatives were bugging the windows of the Burj Khalifa.

When the mists cleared Captain Jack sparrow saw the other boat. It was a coast guard ship. No doubt there were snipers on board. He should never have joined up with Ethiopian

"How much will my clean bill of health set me back, doc?" I asked. "Hm, $40, plus the cost of hollow pills." It was cheaper to be sick, so I forced a cough. The GP sedated me with

This is an account of the events that transpired between Mr. Needlepoop and the FedEx delivery man on April 20, 2014. When FedEx rang the doorbell it triggered Mr. Needlepoop’s OCD

Squall seated himself on a boulder and let out an exhausted sigh. Rinoa had been kidnapped again. What was to be done about such a nuisance? If only he could hire someone else to

When my hamster started having philosophical discussions with me over dinner, I knew it was time to sell him to the neighbors next door.

Emotional baggage? She's renting a berth on a container ship for her assorted

Anthony wondered why the nice lady at the desk had given him the directions to this room. Everyone here was giggling maniacally or staring at nothing. Sure, he did that too, but

The elevator doors slid shut behind Davey, as he perused the panel. '3,2,1,G' it stated reasonably, 'B, SB' sensibly, and then 'SSB, SSSB, Centre of the Earth'. "Gosh!" Davey ejacu

Rules

"Who'd like to start?" ."I would" said the the young man next to me. As he stood, light from the open window stuck him and he began to sparkle. "Hi, I'm Edward, and I'm a Lame