This is the saddest story you will ever hear in your life. It all started when

Knick Knack, Paddy Whack. What the hell is a Paddy Whack anyway? Paddy is often used to refer to an Irish Man and a whack could be a whack with a stick. Irish Child abuse? Could it

The doctor was extremely hungover from an all-nighter with Vince. They'd drank Goldschlagger and played NBA Live on the PS3 until the

I unlocked the deadbolt and peered out into the blackness past the screen door. Something had made that noise. It was cold and I was trying to talk myself out of investigating but

He'd almost hit it big, he almost got a show on the Air called, "Junkyard Police Action" but was beat out by the soulless show called, "

He held birthday greetings in one hand. Bottle of wine in the other. Despite honorable intentions, he felt on the verge of a panic attack. It had been

Buff Spelunker trudged into the depths. The stalagmites parted, and the stalactites retracted into the ceiling, lest they be crumbled by a brush of his shoulders. An ancient para

Someone once told him he looked like Haggar and one day he looked into a window at Bloomingdale's and he saw himself- he really saw himself apparently for the first time...

'Twas the night before Christmas, some say 'Christmas Eve'. I sat on the couch with my fat uncle Steve. Many a laugh and many a beer crossed past our lips as we watched the TV.

The accelerator suddenly dropped to the floor, and all 476 horses thundered under the hood. Flames jetted from the side exhaust, and the impromptu crowd whooped and hollered at the

On my trip to Jupiter, they put me in suspended animation. They told me I would sleep for the six year trip. Unfortunately, I was awake the entire time with only my mind as company

I turned to see what time it was and it was 6:23. I suddenly went into rush mode.My bus should be coming any minute now.I grabbed by bookbag rushed towards the door and then...

Clueless! The international Who-dunnit game. Was it Oli North in Iran with Weapons shipments? Or Saddam in Bagdad with WMDs? Or Fidel in Cuba with Soviet Missiles? You decide!

The teacher shouted "Chuck what you doing" "Well I was counting the freckles on the back of Jane's neck, but theres a problem." Whats the problem? she asked. "Their moving" I said

I used to boil my coffee to get the impurities out. There's some foul stuff in there. Roach wings, mouse turds, spider leg. God, I remember this one time when I drank

15 hours since a new line had been folded on his stories; 8 hours since a new comment; 1 hour since a new 'like'. His skin crawled with anticipation. A twitch had developed that

The cat proudly dropped the gift at my feet. I brought a paper towel to remove the token of appreciation. Odd, it looked like a silver astronaut.

Amazingly, my weekend wasn't as terrible as I had predicted on friday. I thought I was going to spend another weekend alone and loathing in self pity, but it turned out that

"Damn! Those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride!"

Business had been slow since I'd solved the case of the missing Eskimo. In the last week I'd tidied up my files, made a few phone calls and polished off a bottle or 3. When a dame