I had a dog once...................... He didnt seem to be interested in my peanut coverd body. So i killed him and started on myself

"I'm lonely." he lamented in desperation. "I'm missing people in my life. I need someone." He turned to face me. I could only stare at him, speechless. He turned towards the window

When my hamster started having philosophical discussions with me over dinner, I knew it was time to sell him to the neighbors next door.

So I sat down and watched old Burn Notice reruns. Jack Bauer was no Michael Weston. Michael Weston was like Jack Bauer on steroids. As I munched on a bag of Skittles (taste the rai

Harper had to be honest with himself. He was in love with a werewolf. He didn't mind the drooling and snarling - that wasn't much different than his ex when she forgot to take her

"Stop that. Stop that right now." Billybob, the meek policeman, squeaked at the thief. "Oh, OK." the criminal replied, ashamed of his bad behavior. Billybob was a legend among cops

After anonymously dominating the Nerf Basketball League for years, I was ready to take my talents to the NBA. But first, I needed a hype shoe deal. I placed a call to Crocs, Inc.

The fishwife knew perfectly well the herring was off, but she sold it anyway. It was a matter of principle she told herself. What self respecting fishwife would keep a herring that

She was talking to Ali & she thought she was OK about it but she felt her voice go & she knew she'd start crying if she carried on so she stopped.

The First United Church of Bowlers opened at Rev. Chucks Luck Strike on Pilgram Lane. After the opening frame, Rev. Chuck accended to the pulpet just above the

Congratulation >NAME REDACTED<! You are now the proud owner of the new Visa Plutonium Card! You can now get extra reward points for all of your defense and munitions needs!

Most men don't use condoms. We need to design a better condom. Let's brainstorm. How about an origami condom with a nice mountain valley corrugation, or a Barney fingerpuppet?

From the Hillbilly Dictionary, "Whippersnapper. wip-er-snap.ər. noun. A dang greenhorn fool who snaps his suspenders 'an thinks he's some kind a know-it-all. Nincompoop. nin-cum-po

I'll have a lite sabre churro, a wookie wafer and two Princess Stickybuns

Había una vez un chico que se llamaba Andrey y que no llevaba nada de ropa.

In 10 folds or less explain & elucidate the role of the USA during the Cold War in the geopolitical arena including Antarctica. Use a sharp pencil and no dictionaries are allowed.

It's morning, with the sun breaking the landscape, everyone's asleep, with the little mouse slowly stirring. It becomes obvious that it's now that time.

Sure he was a Zombie, but paragliding was so much fun. He launched himself off a cliff in Big Sur (left his foot on the ground) and soared through the air.

Regrettably, not every story can be happy, or silly, or funny. Some stories, such as this one, are more than just sad or grim. This is a story of stark cruelty and human evil.

The Officers approached, batons and tazers raised. I watched, a grimace appearing on my face. "You can't do this to me! I'm the KING!" I screamed and began to back up.