I had to pee so bad. There were people everywhere. It was a serious emergency and I had to come up with a plan. So I

She awoke slowly aware that the room was so black, the silence so complete it had weight and seemed to be suffocating

How's that go? Ass in the sand, beer in my hand? Shoot, all's I'm sayin' is all I got is

I put on my mask. I took a deep breath. I threw my body into the door and it flew open. With all my courage, I stepped

Since my friend Geoff got married, it seems he is off the map. Where does the map lead us? Perhaps you might find

After attempting several time-tested solutions, the lion tamer decided he better take drastic action to release the

It was early in our relationship but i felt we were both mature and could handle it without to much trouble. So I

"Leader board!" Screamed EK™.

That song. She had heard it on the radio the day he left the mandala half finished. Now, he was near

A panda walks into a bar and orders a meal at the counter. When done, he gets up, shoots the bartender and leaves. Why?

'Well, its about time,' she thought as the plane finally pulled away from the gate. The pilot came on to announce that,

Rondo pulled up for a jumper right in LeBron's face. As the ball went through the net he smiled and yelled

The sweatshop owner had a point. I couldn't name another country where you could pay a 12 year-old $1/week to

So then I said, "What? No mayonnaise? How do you expect me to eat this pizza with no mayo?." Luigi looked ready to kill.

The TV blared so loudly that he could barely make out the sounds from next door, but he knew his neighbors

Cleaning out my "Junk" mailbox, my eyes were drawn to the ad for Swedish Penis Enlarging cream. If only I was Swedish..

The first thing I did when I got off the plane was

As the motorcade passed, John remembered a line from an old song about an outlaw who ended up in Cleveland,

I am absolutely, positively, 100%-sure I saw an alien last night. No animal could crouch and feast on a human body like that. Oddly, it smiled at me when I flipped on the

The note read, "This is a fake stickup to test security. Put all the money in a bag and nothing funny." I bit my tongue