I know it is custom for the husband to build the house after marriage but I can just build my own.

The Sun screamed, and Barnes smiled. "Such a miracle, brethen" He muttered

Why mercy me! Says right here I just won the $14 million dollar Nigerian lottery! Says it right here, see? Alls I gotta do it call this here number & give 'em my bank account num

Liz had just finished folding her laundry when Wilt walked into the Laundrymat and shoved his head in the Tumbler she'd just used. She head a muffled "Ahhhh..."

"Congratulations Ma'am on becoming 120. Can you share the secret of your old age?" "That's easy. Avoid death." "Could you um.. elaborate?" "When he visits the home, I'm not here."

The Sun screamed, and Barnes smiled. "Such a miracle, brethen" He muttered

There was a little jellyfish that lives in the sea.

"A 24 hr bus ride to Tijuana Ricardo! What in Cojones are we gonna do all this time?" But Ricardo was prepared & pulled out one bottle of coke, one of tequilla and two plastic cups

You know people will always try to bring you down but you hold your head head high and stand for something.

"What the dentists absolutely don't warn you about is the real and salient threat of contracting floss finger by following their proscribed routine." The judge removed his specs.

Desperate for mockery, I head for the hives. I cry out "Dear bees! Did you know you can tell a tree's age by counting the rings inside its trunk?" I can sense the honey boiling in

One, two, three. Four, five six. I want this to rhyme. Drumsticks.

Before the cranial lobotomy, I was deeply depressed--manic. . .to the point of suicide. . .but, thanks to the handy work of Dr. Demented, and the staff at Psycho No More, I am

When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons for another Thanksgiving's day parade, no one knew what had been left in the back in 1924.

"Who's there?" John asked into the echoing darkness. No one answered.

Two eyes and a nose emerged from the rock. Next a mouth opened and spat out a few pebbles. Then the rock man stood up. It wielded a mighty

There's another me when I go to sleep and start to dream. I am then living in another Universe. I'm going to sleep to see what's happening to the other me.

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Many ignorant, uninformed people think that the Earth is round, and that it orbits the sun. They are, of course, very wrong. The Earth is in fact

I thought about it again today. I tell myself it is always there. I don't need to entertain it. Like I have anything to entertain it. Here, have this ball of angst.