How could I ever trust her if she talks behind my back! This is an important mission and Rebecca was going to ruin it if I didn't stop her first.

Mary Jane was sick. Maybe it was because of the under cooked spider casserole or the ill advised walk in the ice storm with the Parisian Panda. But otherwise he had no regrets.

List of future inventions: 1. A strap-on flashlight. 2. Toilet seat recliner. 3. Fruit with genetically engineered barcodes. 4. Spam-baby. 5. Goldfish hamster ball.

Why does the universe do this? I opened a fold accidentally (I blamed it on the dog), sorry slimwhitman! It was written in Icelandic, which I dont speak. Of alll the possibilities

On a cold December evening, Boris was hungry, so he phoned up the local pizza delivery service. "Hello, how may I help you?" The voice said. "Hello, I'd like to order a

On my 13th birthday, the day I became a man, uncle Shlomo's mullet ate Mrs. MacPherson's poodle Mitsy. I remember it vividly. It was preternaturally fast, devouring the unlucky

We decided to head to Ibiza and eat some pizza, but then I got distracted by the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell which changed my mind and made me begin to crave a Doritios

Soulreaver, Blade of the Necromancer, was on a card table for 5 bucks next to a stack of Reader's Digest and a Easy-Bake oven with the bulb missing.

Carol stared at the bags of frozen peas, wondering where her life had gone. Gerard Butler sidled up to her in the freezer section naked, except for a green tartan kilt. "I love you

Headstock and first frets passes screen, superstrings begin to vibrate. As we pass into the body, interstellar Zappadrive engages. Opening crawl. "A long time ago, in a tonal scale

Love wasn't there. They looked in all the cupboards and under the beds and behind the sofa. They didn't know where they could have lost it.

The internet trolls are under your bed, in your closet, and in your head.

Humanity is forgetting the fear on the dark, & the curiosity to overcome that fear, a dangerous complacency. It's time to make bolder steps outward, away from creature comforts

My stomach keeps grumbling. I think it's trying to communicate with me.

"O my children. Stop your bickering just this once. Make peace with your maker." The voice wasn't really his." He'd passed denial. The asteroid would impact. Others knew, surely.

Through an unusual & inexplicable sequence of events, I found myself locked in closet with YoYo Ma. We were both sweltering & our hands were duct-taped together. Neither of us

"Come with me," he said, staring into my eyes as he offered his hand through the open door, "Please... I'm begging you to come with me." I wanted to come with, I really did but

If the sight of clowns doesn't fill you with fear, and the creepy crawly spiders are pleasant when near, then you find medals in horror very ho-hum; every horror film just needs

Dear FS Family: We've been duped! I found out that SlimWhitman is neither slim, nor Swiss. He's not the shadowy manatee-loving fellow we all thought. His real name is Mario & lives

Has anyone ever done a zombie western? That would be a crossover to make my skin crawl. Let's dig up the Duke and Charles Bronson & Gary Cooper & have Clint direct. Tombstone II