So I was a bit boorish & off putting, insulting & inflammatory, cut a few corners - well flat out lied, but now I'm all better & will be an perfect angel from now on,forgiven, kay?

He was certain of only two things. First, he has owned precisely twenty-four pillows in his lifetime. Second,

For Sale: White Furby, still in the box, excellent condition. Comes with free three-bedroom, two-bathroom estate. Call me for pricing information @ 410-123-4567.

I would like to test this program to use when teaching my class.

Serious death poem: Death is death. Death is sad. Death is bad.

Doug the dog and Cate the cat were best friends.

Aja had run out of time, there was nothing left she could do.

"Mom!" "Mom, are you

"Well isn't that FANTASTIC!?" I asked Johann sarcastically. He gave me the look that he wanted me to shut up. I was ruining his interview. This was he shot at being GREAT!

"Welcome back to Pimp My Ride. Today, we're trickin' out the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. We're gonna take it from 'hot dog' to 'hot DAWG'." I watched in astonishment as the host

You insist that the weight of the world should be on your shoulders. But why?

Minutes remained before my inevitable death was upon me, and I began to reflect. I had accomplished so much during this cycle, yet left so much undone. My greatest achievement was

The gemanon orange and the smart toaster knew each other better than the humans could. Humans thought they would branch out into the cosmos, but it would be fruit and appliances

After being stopped countless times in customs due to my adermatoglyphia,I developed synthetic fingerprints from breathable membrane used in contacts. What started as a convenience

Her new OB-GYN was in a wood paneled office between The Menz Room and The Hamburger King. It seemed fitting that this would be the place she would begin really thinking about her

What is that over there? No. Seriously. That thing is seriously creeping me out. It's like a box. NO WAIT. OH CRAP. IT'S COMING THIS WAY. SOMEONE STOP IT. AHHHHHHH!!

Shopping spree!Shoooooeeeeeessssss!Anne felt she owned the world and that mall was her kingdom...

I attached the blood flow sensors to his genitals & then asked him to sit, blindfolded, in a chair. "You are going to experience a wide variety of scents," I told him. "Just relax

I told that idiot I didn't want him walking my dog anymore. I'm tired of waking up and thinking

En una calle de Madrid, cuyo nombre recuerdo perfectamente, pero que prefiero guardar en secreto, por aquello de dar rienda suelta a la imaginación del lector, hace poco que vivía