Trampoline boots! Everybody! Trampoline boots! You know you want them! Trampoline Boots! All the cool kids got 'em! Tramp- Tramp- Tramp- TRAMPOLINE BOOTS!

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As I walked out the door, the blinding sun caused my eyes to water as my eye lids squeezed shut to keep out the pain of the light. I stumbled over

the different types of sacraments of initiation are baptism confirmation communion

"I'm an expert knife catcher. You there, butcher in the assassin's garb, I bet you have a knife. Throw it here, and I'll catch it. Just make sure it doesn't spin, that's too hard."

walla: Walla is a word used by ignorant Americans who don't know any foreign languages and barely know their own. The correct word is "voila", which loosely translates as "

The tethered feathers of the gray moth erased the dew of the morning. Its body vibrated the strings of crystal web lacing the corners of the window. I watched curiously as I drank

I have Michael Bublé's "Russian Unicorn" stuck in my head.

"What happens on Folding Story stays on Folding Story," Eloise said. Small comfort to me as the waves tossed Mrs Harridan among the rocks below. There would be questions when we re

It was dark, clouds covered the sky. I stood there in the middle of the street, looking around.

I don't 'like' anybody. I don't have a 'Pinterest' in anything. I can't be bothered to 'retweet.' Please don't 'copy', 'forward', or 'Google' me. (Why doesn't anyone read my blog?)

truthfully, my sister was a lesbian. she'd been getting pretty close to me lately, and it freaked me right out. never been into the whole incest thing.

I contrived fissionably late at Becky's for her perennial Christmas fiasco. "I love that debacle you're wearing!" she sprayed dejectedly. I began malingering with the other guests.

Every love story has an end...But this is only the beginning. As I write this I can only hope that

Out my window and across the street, a still black figure caught my eye amidst the grey-green midnight shadow of the bushes - I stared, dreading what I would decipher; dreading

Professor Bombo Ungerdunger's Inflatable Fauna (Advanced Placement) was the toughest course at the Clown College.

Her face was a perfect oval, like an circle that had two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. She walked past him every day, presumably on her way to work. He was homeless,

You're eating one helluva grilled cheese sandwich. Perfect. Twice you've thought: ~Goddamn, this is the best thing I've ever eaten.~ Then you find it. A hair. You

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will suffer from a diabetic episode. If he suffers from diabetic episode, you must give him an insulin injection. If he recovers, he might sue you.

...and they called him...The Scribbler...