Well I didn't get the job because under 'If

Well I didn't get the job because under 'If you could be any type of dried fruit, what type would you be, and why?' I'd put 'Apricot; and your mother. Same reason.' I'm still not

sure what the right answer was. It probably depends on the job. Later, I applied to work as a mortician's assistant and had to answer the question "If you were a dessicated jar of

ears would you still hear the sea?" The correct answer was 'Maybe'. Even though I failed the test I got the job as I was the only candidate. I put on my assistant mortician boots &

leapt right into the large vat of dead bodies assigned to me. "Whee-heee!!" I laughed, clapping my gloved hands in joy. Being the assistant mortician would be way more fun than

being a clown in the funhouse! At least now I didn't have to hide my love for dissecting human bodies! There were other benefits of being the asst. mortician. I could rub my hands

like Mr. Miyagi and then massage the cadavers. As the Asst. Mortician I could play a ton of practical jokes on grieving people. One time I put frogs inside the body of an old geeze

r's suit pocket. At the funeral, his widow went up to the open casket and was shocked to hear croaking coming from it. "I thought once you croak, that's it," she said. "But

deceased husband's throat and yanked out a twelve pound croaker...it was all mucousy and foul-smelling. But the damn frog was still alive. It jumped from her hands and landed in

in the aquarium, and she'd be damned if she was ever going to clean that thing out. She never understood why her husband bought it, and she couldn't rightly ask him anymore.