India reluctantly put down her copy of 'Ravished

India reluctantly put down her copy of 'Ravished by the Triceratops', & picked up her phone. Uh-oh, it was playing the Rocky theme tune. "Oh, Bert, it's you," she said with a certa

in uncertain vagueness. The kind born from recognizing the voice but realizing that there were a lot of "Berts" out there. But then she heard the mustache. India said, "Oh Reynolds

, you're the only Bert for me!" But Bert said "Actually, my first name's Quincy, or Q, for short." India said "Q Bert Reynold?" He said yup, and hopped up the stairs, which lit up

And played the theme from "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly". "Yippee!", Bert said when he got to his room. The cats filmed it on their Kittycams. We were laughing our asses off.

"How about a brewski," Bert asked Tuco who was picking his teeth with a Bowie Knife. Tuco took the beer offered and then shot Bert in the spleen. Bert was used to it so he didn't

flinch. What Bert WASN’T used to was Tuco’s poor manners. Bert wrestled the knife away & held it against Tuco’s throat. “I buy you a beer and you don’t say THANK YOU??” Before Bert

could say "violence is naughty", Tuco had snatched the knife back from him and thrown his beer in Bert's face. "That beer tasted like peepee anyway!" Tuco jeered before he leapt

on his waiting red Newfoundland pony, Boneyass, and rode off into a rather big hedge, dropping and becoming lodged on a cactus. Bert picked up the knife and used it to prick Tuco’s

nostrils free from the cactus quills. "Welp," Bert said in resignation to his mighty steed Boneyass, "I reckon we best git a move on." B.A. whinnied in agreement. Tuco moaned and