It was a dark and stormy night. Morgan and

It was a dark and stormy night. Morgan and Derek were walking home from the movie theatre. They decided to take a short cut. They came upon an old abandoned house and they saw.....

a void. Blackness upon blackness. There was a voice coming from the ink dark depths, it said

"God have mercy on our souls." There was a clanking, a moan, a rattle of bones. The heavy oak door creaked open and mouldy crusts of bread were thrown in. Squeaking rats scurried

arouind the room. Then, I saw an angel who led me out into a beautiful garden area. There were flowers everywhere. But, they were different kind of flowers. Instead of blooms,

there grew cupcakes. Every color & flavor imaginable! The angel told me that the cupcake flowers had no calories. Skeptical, I picked a red velvet "rose" & bit into it. Delicious!

The leader of our encounter group had a rather unorthodox method for curing us of red velvet: Blue velvet. She pronounced it 'Bleu vuelva'. I thought she was saying "blue vulva"

and handed her my doctor's number. Our encounter group leader stared, and my will crumbled like Gorgonzola cheese. She sniffed. All thoughts of red velvet had gone from my mind.

I, Guy Fieri realized that I'd eaten too much grease. The encounter group leader felt my moment of food clarity. He cupped his hands and said, "We speak your name."

The group leader presented an opportunity to profit from my indulgence. Members of the food group carefully extracted my grease to use for polishing rusty garden tools.