Take it from me: When making a point about

Take it from me: When making a point about how easy it is to write a haiku, be sure to not screw up the syllable count. You just look silly. "Haikus are so easy/ In my sleep I make

verses/5-7-5. "I can even use/cuttings words as weaponry/

but not on my arm." I am extraordinarily clever, I thought to myself, since no one else would. This 5-7-5 poetry slam was great! "Fingers raking down/I destroy your ugly face/

mwah ha ha ha ha." I can churn out this 5-7-5 poetry until I'm physically restrained, I thought feverishly. "It's got no eyeballs/Let's steal its salami roll/

I'm babbling, I know, forgive me. If only the roll snatching hadn't led me to the stash of Peruvian i wouldntve rebelled against the tyranny of modern

family. What a show! For the weak-minded that is. I prefer my Ed O'neil, younger, hating his wife and flushing toilets. Married With Children? Now that was a show. But I am babblin

rabble, yes, I am bubblin trouble. Never married, childless, and all I do is watch television. Re-runs, and re-runs of re-runs. Ed O'Neil has grown old, looks terrible. It happens

to people, especially if all they do is watch television. I've learned that much from television. Tells you important stuff, the telly, like that night when I watched a re-run of

Scooby Doo, and I learned that it was the commissioner who was behind all those grave-robbing incidents and he woulda gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids!