...You are five miles from your destination.

...You are five miles from your destination. Please take "The Yellow Brick Road" at the next exit. Continue for 2 miles until you reach the "Enchanted Forest." Witch Detour Ahead.

The lion was really bothered. His new rolls royce wasn't going to drive well on a brick road, he thought. Besides, nobody went to the forest anymore. Too many hippie hikers. He

yawned and thought about Dorothy. Different time, different place. The Tin Man settled down with a Filippino chick named Anna. Two kids. No sleep. The lion started up his rolls roy

ce so he could watch "Courage the Cowardly Dog" on the backseat TV. He got out his road map. "Looks like the Yellow Brick Road is just past Fleet Street," said the Lion. The auto

matic cappuccino maker whirred and gave him a frothy white drink. "Now this is the good life, isn't it, scarecrow?" He asked. "I wish we would have figured out the witch's bounty

on the lone velvet couch in the upper room of Oz's dilapidated strip club. Money issues were never for him anyway, the little people could deal with all that. Glinda was onstage

wearing a fixed plastic smile and tacky lingerie, gyrating robotically to the music, but as long as the patrons saw enough of Glinda's skin they didn't care about convincingness.

The secret to Glinda's skin was its slightly sticky quality. When punters stroked her bare thigh the friction on the tips of their fingers caused a heat which permeated them to the

bone. "What have you done!" Glinda screamed. "I'M MELTING! Oh what a world! What a world! You've destroyed my beautiful wickedness! I'm going now! OH Ohhhh." The Munchkins cheered.