I was walking through the woods one day,
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I was walking through the woods one day, and I came to a fork in my path. No signs signified which road led to where. One path was dark, with trees growing up on each side, clawing
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at the uneven trecherous path. The other was lined with tullips and fluttering butterflies. So what did I do? I took the dark trecherous path and that has made all the difference.
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Because along this path was a mutated panda holding a giant whale penis. He charged at me swinging the giant member wildly and hitting me on the head. I passed out for 5 minutes
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due to the concussion brought on by that panda's grotesque weapon. I awoke, tied up in a dimly-lit room, with the mutated panda glaring at me.
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"Where's the damn hi hos and ding dongs?" Demanded the mutated panda. I was tied up so I couldn't point or scratch my neck.
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The panda subsequently Ate, Shot, and Left, defying all conventional rules of grammar* *cf Linda Buloski, in her new biography of Giant Tibetan pandas, who claims that when aroused
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she has a particular habit of writing lengthy diatribes about endangered or sometimes simply threatened species. The Panda was no different. Linda had scribed her tome entirely
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on the insides of condom packets that she had collected from her apartment over the years. A tome is what it definitely was. It contained more information about the panda than they
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, quite frankly, cared to know. But it did contain enough panda DNA to attempt a clone. Unfortunately, it also contained the DNA of several of her low-life johns. The animal that
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emerged *was* cute, in a way, but ultimately caused tremendous panda-monium. She never regretted a thing, though. She was just happy she wasn't left alone.
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- Started
- 2015-02-06 19:21:51
- Finished
- 2018-08-16 22:21:14
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