Long day, same old, same old. So, tonight,

Long day, same old, same old. So, tonight, instead of ground beef in his Hamburger helper, Griffin added

ground pork. The Hamburger Helper Hand bounced off the box and pimp-slapped Griffin. "No no no!" it shouted. "Let me show you how it's done." Then the Hand proceeded to

Wander over to the cabinet and grab the bottle of Mr Clean. The Hand blushed, and grabbed the kitchen cleaner. The Hand had a thing for bald men, always has, that was the downfal

l for most disemobided hands that obtained consciousness. The Hand stared with its non-existant eyes into the deep, ocean-blue eyes of Mr. Clean. Feeling itself getting lost, Hand

shook itself, quite a feat for a single hand, and slapped Mr. Clean on his squeaky clean bald pate. Mr Clean blinked and then winked making Mr. Hand get weak in the joints.

Suddenly the Hamburger Helper mitt burst in with a cast on its thumb, a black eye and a busted lip. "Don't fall for Mr. Clean's charm, Mr. Hand, he's a violent abusive, mamma's boy

who had spent too many of his years getting high off of Oxi-Clean and Pine Sol. But it was the kitty litter what ruined him. Good ol' Jonny Cat, stuff would leave a man high and

damn near an amnesiac once he came down. We'd tried before to get him to change his ways, but huffing household products had turned him from a kind compassionate man into a roaring

lion that gave out swords and magic potions to lost British orphans. Well, it was a step in the right direction. If only it were true. We cured him of his huffing habit by