...Join and be an Army of One!" I was swayed

...Join and be an Army of One!" I was swayed by the recruitment poster and signed up. Little did I know it was the Swiss Army where they do things differently...

First, the Swiss Army barracks was really compact. Us troopers practically slept on top of each other and could only leave one at a time. The Swiss Army was weird in other ways

. A standard issue swiss army knife had a cork screw,nail clipper,tweezers,nail file,lipstick & botox dispenser. Shooting practice was every 2nd sunday. Our armored trams equipped

their MUD characters to the teeth but were stubbed."hlp acidrain burned my eys" "Get out of the acid rain" I typed. "But had blind fighting skil" "That's for fighting the blind."

deleted his favorite playlist before he realized he didn't know braille. "Activate Voice Command". "Ready for Input". Dr. Pitt began to dictate a post to the Thomas Dolby fan forum

even while the strains of "She Blinded Me with Science" played out in the background. "Dolby would have approved" Dr. Pitt said. "But he's still alive y'know!" The blind man cried.

"If you want to call that living," Dr Pitt. replied. He stepped to an upright metal cabinet, unfastened a combination lock, and opened the door. Thomas Dolby was suspended in a

bird cage dressed in a sparrow costume pecking at a mirror. "This," intoned Dr Pitt, "is what happens to people who made it big in the 80s. Their minds are too fragile." Sinead O'

Connor shook her head. "Yer a daft bloody bird-brain's what you are!" Dr. Pitt turned to stare at her quizzically. "That's not even a real Irish accent. Get out of my office. "