So you think that you have been to Hell?

So you think that you have been to Hell? Well, buddy, I disagree. I spent 15 years in the NFL -- and no one took a beating like me.

But I showed them in the end! I got more touchdowns than all of the New England Patriots combined! And I've got the concussions to prove it! Just look right here at my

handwriting sample. It's barely legible. Chett is that you? Are you there? Am I seeing things again..I couldn't find him, must be all the concussions playing tricks on

me. Chett looked down, drooling slowly onto her head, then gently rubbing it into her tattered hair like a saliva shampoo. "Yes, it's me darling" Chett said in a seductive voice.

so gently in mock strangulation that she began to laugh. "Can't you do anything for real, Chett?" "I'll show you real!" He feigned a passionate kiss an inch from her lips, his arms

traveling down her back, also an inch from actually touching her. She shoved Chett aside, and he flew and hit the back of a wall, before sliding down it. "Kiss me for real!" She sa

vagely stage-whispered. Chett couldn't. He stood up -flexing his abs like the player he was- and came as close to her lips as he could without indulging. "I wont." She couldn't

Help noticing how his gym membership had never seemed to run out. Who would pay for it? Not her. Chett must have grown an extra foot to stash the money for these things. How could

he go on this way & still be so clueless, she wondered. In the end, she chose brawn over brains, much to her mother's chagrin. They married & lived happily ever after...at the gym.