The Reader's Digest story caught my eye:

The Reader's Digest story caught my eye: 99 Household Uses for Preparation-H. Number one:

Toothpaste. It really helps with sensitive teeth. The other 98 household uses for preparation H are quite obvious. I mean, who doesn't know that globs of it can be used to

clean stains off the walls, shine your shoes, wax your moustache, disinfect your washing machine, deodorise your fridge, hang paintings on walls, buff your car, fertilise plants

that WD40 would improve my sex life. And they were." Boris reasoned that what worked on nuclear warheads must suit his girlfriend. Unfortunately Boris is stupid. His girlfriend is

not the least bit sexually aroused by any WD40 or nuclear warhead. Boris seems to be very stupid, indeed, as well as not very good at communicating with his girlfriend about what

The year 2012 was supposed to be. The masses gathered, holding roses for his grave while he fled for the South Coast Ferry.

On the way to the Ferry he had robbed the Flaubert the Florist so he had plenty of cash from the sale of all those roses. Flaubert was flabbergasted, but the graveyard was scented

by humus and hubris and gasses from their lies. Leaving Flaubert behind he drove into the night with the now his rose money trying to make that last Ferry. Captain Charon had promi

sed to arrive early or at least on time! How could he explain it? Suddenly he knew. Captain Charon said, "Sorry, babe, I got lost way out in the Styx." She smirked, but it worked.