Harold was quite the entrepreneur. His 100%

Harold was quite the entrepreneur. His 100% natural & organic Harold Prodder's Every Flavor Beanies were the hit of the neighborhood. Sold in packs of 2 for $3. Ingredients

included dirt, rocks, and weeds,although the magic of Prodder's Every Flavor Beanies was in what you THOUGHT about while eating them. If you ate one and thought of a cat, it tasted

like a cat turd. Do you know what those taste like? Oh crud, now I thought it. Yech. At least I didn't think of larks vomit. Urkk.. URKKK ROOOOOOOOOOLFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!

My thoughts flashed to several different styles of urine before settling on something palatable. As the flavor of wet dog filled my mouth I wondered why I didn't think of food.

Gah! These magical jelly beans were pretty darn cool but they were going to make me throw up real fast if I kept focusing my brain on nasty flavors. For the next one, I imagined

a crème brûlée flavored one. Regrettably, when I popped it into my mouth, I also thought of froe gras, so it tasted of burnt duck liver pudding. Telepathic jelly beans are tricky.

"Hello ... is it you?" Strange sort of aftertaste. "Are you a telepathic jelly bean?" No! I shouted back mentally. "Oh, sorry. I'm just stuck on Neptune and wanted a chat." The v

olume on the tv suddenly spiked, then dropped to a whisper. Downton Abbey flickered out of existence on the screen to be replaced by the image of what looked like a pink-spotted

Chocula's dirty secrets! She awoke, as always: face down in a bowl of Cookie Crisp listening to Dora the Explorer. It was time to get help. She picked up the Fisher Price phone.