Harold was quite the entrepreneur. His 100%

Harold was quite the entrepreneur. His 100% natural & organic Harold Prodder's Every Flavor Beanies were the hit of the neighborhood. Sold in packs of 2 for $3. Ingredients

included dirt, rocks, and weeds,although the magic of Prodder's Every Flavor Beanies was in what you THOUGHT about while eating them. If you ate one and thought of a cat, it tasted

like a cat turd. Do you know what those taste like? Oh crud, now I thought it. Yech. At least I didn't think of larks vomit. Urkk.. URKKK ROOOOOOOOOOLFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!

My thoughts flashed to several different styles of urine before settling on something palatable. As the flavor of wet dog filled my mouth I wondered why I didn't think of food.

Gah! These magical jelly beans were pretty darn cool but they were going to make me throw up real fast if I kept focusing my brain on nasty flavors. For the next one, I imagined

"Hello ... is it you?" Strange sort of aftertaste. "Are you a telepathic jelly bean?" No! I shouted back mentally. "Oh, sorry. I'm just stuck on Neptune and wanted a chat." The v

olume on the tv suddenly spiked, then dropped to a whisper. Downton Abbey flickered out of existence on the screen to be replaced by the image of what looked like a pink-spotted

giraffe. A talking giraffe. Throwing her beer at the television she cursed this edutainment mascot that taught little kids who soil their own pants how to say their abc's and count

Chocula's dirty secrets! She awoke, as always: face down in a bowl of Cookie Crisp listening to Dora the Explorer. It was time to get help. She picked up the Fisher Price phone.