"Pie in the sky," Ralph chuckled to himself.

"Pie in the sky," Ralph chuckled to himself. "What a stupid expression."

forgetting to knock on wood, Ralph unknowing released a proverbial shit-storm on his small island village of Tiki Harumbi. The first pie fell only minutes later,

followed by actual shit. "We must make a sacrifice to the gods!" yelled Popuasquatie, the bespectacled Chieftan. His eyes, and those of his fellow tribesmen, turned to Ralph.

Ralph was what you would call a late bloomer. He didn't understand a lot and as a result ended up yelling in a goofy alien voice. "The roof, the roof the roof is on fire." Then it

EXPLODED in a shower of GLASS and SHRAPNEL, punctuating the wedding with MOLTEN-HOT BITS OF CRYSTALLIZED PARTICULATES. Ralph said, "Please stop yelling at me." So I did.

very quietly NINJAS with FLAMING DEATH KNIVES and EXPLOSIVE UNDERWEAR blew the reception up like an ATOMIC BOMB. Ralph was not happy with this development.

The NINJAS threw their Flaming Death Knifves in the direction of little Ralph as he prepared for their bombardment.

Good thing he ate his bacon this morning. Thank God for bacon.

If it wasn't for bacon then he might not be with us today. The fat on the ends of the bacon strips is really what saved him that day.