Over the years, I realized that popularity

Over the years, I realized that popularity looses its value which leaves the popular people with no more power.

I learned this to my own regret as I became increasingly unpopular over the years, which made me a little bitter yet humble, and incredibly powerful. I was afraid I might misuse

my powers for evil purposes, like when I planted herbivorous tomatoes in my neighbor's tomato patch. "Good lord," he said. "A couple are obese, but the rest have been sucked dry."

But that was nothing compared to the elephant squash. It started with the smaller vegetables & worked its way through his tubers swelling to barrel size. Barney tried composting it

but was arrested for composting because he was in Orange County. He was charged with "eco-terrorism" for not using pesticides and chemical fertilizer. He was put in a cell with

the home office zoning manager from Stew Leonard's. Or whatever his job was. The 2 were at the mercy of not just any cracker justice: Spoiled-rich, self-entitled cracker justice.

highfalutin kit shickers. If we band together then Shirley can be Don. Wait, spell-check that, please. The folder monkeys are hardly the best typists. Let's bring this story to

Hell's furnace and feed it the folder monkeys; every Spoonerism. Now...starting over: If we band together, Shirley can be Squiggy and Laverne can be...ah...forget the whole stupid

thing. I'm thirsty. Who wants a margarita?