once opon a time i so did not wanted to do

once opon a time i so did not wanted to do this but

he said just think of it like a walnut shell with skin on it so I

did. It didn't help. Walnut shells don't have skin, and I didn't have a clue. That's when I realized exactly what he was trying to say.

Since walnuts are actually a “seed”, skin is “epidermis,” and put together their anagram is “Impede Ed’s rise”, I was supposed find a way to stop Ed Stuvik before he

rose his bread with the wrong sort of yeast. I looked up Ed Stuvik on Google to discover his address, then grabbed my spy gear and rushed

to judgment. Bam. Headline knowledge. Just said, "Boom, he's a Bread Idiot!" I didn't bother trying to know anything about Ed, just started attacking his Bakery Acumen. I'm The Bre

-adwinningest bread critic of the Sliced Era. I was never afraid to go against the grain. "This Smuckers Uncrustable is far superior to your loaf," I told him snootily. His fist

slammed ferociously onto a loaf of rye bread. He glared at me. "Lies!" I told him that it was true, then he screamed, "No bread is greater than mine! I am the last of the

Yeastonites, and my legacy will last forever!" He raised the large breadstick shinning with olive oil above him and then brought it down onto my crippled body. It hurt so good.