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A moose once bit my sister.

  • A moose once bit my sister.

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  • With her newly acquired moose superpowers, my sister became Moosegirl. I thought it was pretty cool, so I stupidly reached my hand to a raccoon, but all I got was rabies.

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  • Moosegirl bopped me with a knuckle sandwich for being a "doo doo brain". I suspected that my black eye was actually a sign of raccoon powers when I got a keen sense for tasty trash

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  • That bestows of it magnificent banana peels, top ramen noodles that last forever as a light yellow paste infused to imbue the only real powers in which to quench my thirst only to

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  • only to...only to...damn, I always forget that part. Banana peels, plus top ramen noodles and then I blank out. I call it my fuzzy brain moment. But it happens all the time. Could

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  • be the lack of sugar I've had today. In the past week I've eaten 230 sherberts, 50 lollipops, and a whole load of sugar out the bag. And don't forget the fizzy drinks!

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  • Without my sugar rush I was unable to bounce off the walls but instead I went crashing through them. The holes I had made in the walls allowed me to escape the land of savoury food

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  • . And then that's when I entered...The Twilight Zone. My world now was a bitter black and white with sonorous characters and assorted oddities. I was snapped back to reality when O

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  • began screaming as the whips decorated her backside with crimson marks. But black-and-white crimson marks are anachronistic, and should be avoided in this age of mobile

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  • fashion. That style of torture just isn't cool anymore, and anyone who wears those marks should be looked down on in society.

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