Once upon a time there was a cute little

Once upon a time there was a cute little girl called Lucy, and everyone thought she looked just like a fairy because of her delicate features and her friendly smile.

But Lucy had an evil streak. Although she offered advice, she charged for it. Sometimes when her friend came to kick a football, she'd whip it away at the last minute. Charlie

the Eternal Vegetative Cycle. Butterflies flapped, birds tweeted and slugs slurped along the Rotten Road of Redemption towards the whirling flanges of fate. Nirvana was close in

the compost bin & there was nothing I enjoyed more than to bury my head in its fetid warmth. It was Nirvana for me. I wished I could crawl in completely & also earn my redemption.

Hardly had this thought drifted drowsily into my head when there were the most awful scraping and chomping sounds - sloppy slurping and gustatory gobbling - was that a worm near my

son's mouth? I had noticed a decrease in his appetite lately but I hadn't suspected it was the result of eating maggots. I gave him a high five to encourage his culinary curiousity

. Many years later, my son's palate for the inedible was a boon for his career as culinary artist. He founded the restaurant franchise "Bits and Boots."

His franchise quickly expanded into craze: the new South St diet. Everyone was boosting their iron, sucking on screw-encrusted leather. Healthy+ jaw exercise= bliss. Jr., a millio

from Manillio, was half armadillio with three-eights porcupillio and two-sixteenths Filliopino. That's him when he was young. And this was his cautionary tale. Keep safe.