John and Frank sat at the bar chatting. "I
John and Frank sat at the bar chatting. "I can't believe how mad she got", Frank muttered. "She was working in the kitchen and I just got one little toenail in the4
Paula Dean Heart Attack Colitis Margaritas she was making and went ballistic." John and Frank drank in silence. Thinking of ways of killing their fat Southern mother.4
Man, they were mean. John and Frank sat. John and Frank thought. John and Frank killed their fat Southern mother. Here's how:5
Love. Haven't you ever heard what they say in the south? "Why, I just love her to de-ath." John & Frank loved their mom to death. They loved her sausage-n-gravey biscuits too. But4
there was one thing they resented more than anything. John and Frank took the truck to the farmer's market that weekend. They packed 2 blankets, a sleeping bag and 7 plastic bags4
filled to the brim with dihydrogen monoxide, which they'd purchased online for $10,000 from a member of Al Queda. John and Frank planned to exact sweet revenge on Farmer Bill for4
taking his geese to market without tarring their feet. John and Frank splashed plenty of dihydrogen monoxide over Farmer Bill's farmhouse, lit and threw a match and stood back4
to wait for God to modify physics. But God, not existing, was in a mean mood. Water would remain water, at least for the night. The He appeared in Farmer Bill's dream and yelled6
"Mitchell, how dare you eat the last fudging pickle you fudging mendicant." And Mitchell looked at Webb and said something unintelligible. Farmer Bill woke up from this dream,3
with a strong hankering for fudge and pickles. "You got any fudge or pickles, Martha?" he asked his wife. "Fresh out!" she replied. "But I've got a creampuff you can eat."5
- 2011-12-24 16:30:24
- 2014-03-16 15:51:07
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jefforama Mar 16 2014 @ 15:52
I will need some time to sort out the symbolism evident in this story.
49erFaithful Mar 17 2014 @ 20:44
I'd love to hear once you get it figgered. Dark, with overtones of atheist Oedipus cunnilingus methinks.
49erFaithful Mar 17 2014 @ 20:45
AKA the #3 on the Big Board.
SlimWhitman Mar 19 2014 @ 17:26
It's rare to LOL on every fold. I did. Y'all crack me up.