If I win the lottery

If I win the lottery

I'm going to quit my job and rewrite my past.

The difficult part of rewriting your past is getting all the elements right. I had to hire a family so I could have my father (at 12 bucks an hour) present at my fifth birthday.

Which threw me into a really cold and hollow depression. My fake dad did so much for me at only 12 bucks an hour than my real dad who'd charged me twice that. That really hurt.

So here it is...Father's Day is on Sunday & I decided to give my fake dad a cost-of-living pay increase. Starting Monday, I would pay my fake dad $13/hr. And I got him a card too.

However there were aspects of my fake dad's performance that I'd rated 'marginally achieved' on the evaluation I'd present this Sunday. For example, the arbitrary ban on incendiary

language when he grounded me. In fact, that resulted in a pay cut. But my fake dad retaliated by bringing in a fake gran to give me a right telling off & then sending me the bill!

But even when I didn't pay him on time, he still acted like the dad I'd always wanted. On Father's Day, I put Fish Tank Kings on mute and asked him if he'd be my fake "real" dad

or "authentic" dad substitute or genuine "dad-like" companion, "quasi-paternal" dad impersonator…I couldn't go on. He scratched his ass. "Yah I'll be your legitimate phony dad, but