The office staff found a bubble gum soda

The office staff found a bubble gum soda in a box. "Do you think we should drink it?" said the statistician.

that half-drunk bottle of bourbon that was left outside the homeless shelter. There were unidentified floating objects in it, but they did enhance the flavor and texture like a

-n old grimy sock would. But then came Dinko. Dinko the bum. He was the most extreme homeless man in the world. Why he was so homeless that when he brushed his teeth his gums

and giggled with delight. Everything changed for Dinko the bum on the day he found a perfectly good three-piece suit in the dumpster. This was his chance to re-enter society and

expose the lack of freedom of the press. Dinko the bum would volunteer at Reporters Without Borders. RWB sent Dinko the bum to Finland to learn why the rated 1st in the

world at being Finnish & spending inordinate amounts of time in that cold land of the midnight sun. Dinko the bum went to Lapland with his reporters pad & plied Finns with vodka to

spill the beans about the elderly bearded gentleman who'd been seen cavorting about town with several reindeer harnessed to his '88 Peugeot. Dinko needed this lead to pan out or he

was finished. His gambling debt was approaching a fatal level, and Don Arrivederci's generosity was fickle. Dinko rehearsed his sales pitch silently, coughed, and then pressed the

escape key to exit.