The shrouded gates opened. Amy moved towards

The shrouded gates opened. Amy moved towards them. Then she was stopped. A red-eyed raven hulked on the Gate post. It gargled, "Ms. Winehouse, where do you think you're going?"

"Rehab," Amy replied. "No, Ms. Winehouse," said the raven. "This is the 27 Club. We have been expecting you." She entered the courtyard. "Come as you are, Amy," said Kurt Cobain.

Amy's mascara was running copiously down her cheeks and onto the blackened spoon. Kurt quipped "a mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido" as a mulatto albino mosquito walked by

and sank its blood slurper into Amy's tear-streaked cheek. She swatted it away, but it was too late... it had already given poor Amy malaria. Kurt was there for her to get the cure

for her measles but the malaria really hit her system hard. Later, Kurt stopped by the hospital to bring her flowers and a magazine when he saw a rabid bat gnawing on Amy's neck.

This was odd, as Kurt Cobain knew that rabid bats more often than not suffered from paralysis. One ASPCA call later, his girlfriend Amy was placidly contracting narcolepsy added to

ET CUM LEX TARASTOS TANTALUS ELYSIUM

I tell the gatekeeper, "We come to the rich tart tarantula looking for asylum." (Not to shabby for one semester of college Latin.)

Granted immediate entrance, we were invited to rest our weary limbs on tuffets & to share ceremonial curds & whey. Surrounded now, we weren't frightened by our hosts in the least.