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The Perpetrator and The Eunuch sat atop the

  • The Perpetrator and The Eunuch sat atop the Empire State Building. They gazed out at the throngs of unsuspecting men and women, plotting their next caper.

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  • "I'm telling you, Perpetrator, I can't do this," the Eunuch said. "Nonsense, you bunjee off the Empire State and teabag unsuspecting commuters like in Halo! It's hlarious!" He

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  • obviously didn't know what Eunuch was. How could he break it the "Perpetrator." Which was the Eunuch's friend Todd, a powerless, envy driven Key Club secretary.

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  • Making the decision to break it to him gently he had Todd summoned to the office of official business. "Todd, last night we had a break in out in the south wing of the harem.

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  • " Todd looked blankly at his manager. "Yeah, so? My territory is the north wing. What do I care if your guards can't keep their hands off the girls in the south side?" The manager

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  • only got angrier. "I'm giving you a warning! Next time I catch you messing around with the girl, I'll...I'll..." Todd sighed. The manager was always being unreasonable with him.

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  • "I'm not messing around with her, sir, it's just that I love eating whole cucumbers." "And?" The indignant manager prompted. "And my server is a cat-person! Food phobias are no

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  • joke! I said calmly "Relax. Everyone whether you like it or not, fees like a cat inside". "Even for myself, I kinda go meow meow when I see cucumbers." The manager replied "

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  • Well, now that the cat's out of the bag, I'll let you all know that I'm not feline very well today. I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off to find a patch of sunshine to sleep in

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  • but sadly there is no sunshine to be found.

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