The Perpetrator and The Eunuch sat atop the

The Perpetrator and The Eunuch sat atop the Empire State Building. They gazed out at the throngs of unsuspecting men and women, plotting their next caper.

"I'm telling you, Perpetrator, I can't do this," the Eunuch said. "Nonsense, you bunjee off the Empire State and teabag unsuspecting commuters like in Halo! It's hlarious!" He

obviously didn't know what Eunuch was. How could he break it the "Perpetrator." Which was the Eunuch's friend Todd, a powerless, envy driven Key Club secretary.

Making the decision to break it to him gently he had Todd summoned to the office of official business. "Todd, last night we had a break in out in the south wing of the harem.

" Todd looked blankly at his manager. "Yeah, so? My territory is the north wing. What do I care if your guards can't keep their hands off the girls in the south side?" The manager

only got angrier. "I'm giving you a warning! Next time I catch you messing around with the girl, I'll...I'll..." Todd sighed. The manager was always being unreasonable with him.

"I'm not messing around with her, sir, it's just that I love eating whole cucumbers." "And?" The indignant manager prompted. "And my server is a cat-person! Food phobias are no

joke! I said calmly "Relax. Everyone whether you like it or not, fees like a cat inside". "Even for myself, I kinda go meow meow when I see cucumbers." The manager replied "

Well, now that the cat's out of the bag, I'll let you all know that I'm not feline very well today. I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off to find a patch of sunshine to sleep in