Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mother: (1)

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Mother: (1) She didn't make fun of me when I said I wanted to fly. Instead, she tied her best tablecloth around my neck & told me to go ahead & jump!

(2) She told me i could be any thing I wanted and now i'm a racing car.

(3) But she didn't tell me that if I chose to become a racing car I'd be driven by a megalomaniac psychopath with a penchant for burning out clutches.

But there I was with Tyra Banks grinding down my gears like a chainsaw on baby flesh. But I was also a talking car. One night David Hasselhoff took Tyra out for a burger. That

practising scream therapy in his shower ever day around 6 am. Immediately after the shower, David would pick up telephone and dial Tyra's number but not say a word just to hassle

her into screaming obscene sentences to him,so that he could get off at 6:15am.Then he would get the paper and feed his dog,Martel.David left hte house everyday at 7:30 and Tyra

would then go back to bed with Martel, the dog. At 12 noon she woke up. Tyra arrived for her shift at the chocolate factory at 1pm and lunched on chocolate truffles. David got bac

terial meningitis & had to go home, leaving Tyra to fend for herself. Then Tyra began feeling sick too! She looked down at the half-eaten chocolate truffle in her hand. It dawned

on her that life was like a box of chocolates. Fates picked Tyra out at random and crushed her hard outer shell to reveal the gooey nougat soul. Oblivion.