Alter one iota of your destiny and someone

Alter one iota of your destiny and someone named wish might just encounter you. I found this out once while holding a cardboard sign outside the Fred Myer on Hawthorne Street. This

sign wasn't getting me any cash. Apparently it had improper subject-verb agreement, a dangling participle and misplaced modifiers. As a homeless person, my sign was my livelihood

and my pickle jar was my toilet. As a homeless person I was usually fresh out of ideas. But then it hit me. Why don't to the Chelsea hotel and pretend that I am

Keith Richards? We looked a lot alike. Same scraggly face, same black eyeliner. Talked the same too. I could easily pass as him. Only I have no money. So when I got to the hotel, I

hung out by the ice machine pretending to be Keith Richards and crashing Bar Mitzvahs. I would mooch off the buffet and play Klezmer. I was living the dream until Keith showed up.

Kiven Bacon. This bamboozled Kieth Richards long enough for me to dump the Kiven Bacon slacks & slip into something more comfortable - Keifer Sutherland's jorts. My satellite phone

Dialed the real Keith Richards, who was at home reading Tarjei Vesaas' The Birds. The Norwegian landscape resembled his own inner landscape at age 73. Mick Jagger was there to coo

-rdinate the annual "Pining for the Fjords" event, where Keith attempted to lead the birds in flight but mostly just passed out on the beach. Mick usually took over for him and

Nobody had seen Watts since the Brown Paperbag Incident. Or was it Sticky Fingers?