"Yo dawg. I heard you liked doing the flop,

"Yo dawg. I heard you liked doing the flop, so I did the Harlem shake because all your base are belong to chuck testa!" My girlfriend screamed and ran away. It completely ruined

my marriage proposal I had planned on making to her. Heck, I thought she'd appreciate my humor, but I guess not. Pocketing the 2-carat engagement ring, I shrugged & went inside the

Super Void. The Super Void was a large and cold region in the universe. Maybe here I could forget about my fiance. But I encountered the oddest creature ever in the Void.

It was a man who listened to his fiancé and genuinely cared about her emotions. What a bizarro land this Super Void must be. He gladly wore a sweater his fiancé knit him. MY fiancé

in the Super Void let my counterpart watch football on the weekend and never interrupted poker night or harped about his beer belly. I devised a dastardly plan to trade places with

this lucky S.O.B. It involved an unapproved offsite face transplant, critical memory transfer and 100% commitment. There was no going back. What I didn't realize about the lifeswap

agreement was that it went on for 4732 pages -- and I don't sign a credit card receipt without reading it over thrice. Four years later, I penned my signature and the LifeSwap

help me improve my own miserable existence, not force me to live out my life as overweight redneck. I stirred the grits, and took a deep sniff of the greens. Billy Joe had my lif

ting spoon between his teeth. Well, that's what it's like being Ruler of Earth's only Mars colony. Maybe you should have thought of that before the one-way trip. Too bad, so sad.