Moxie secretly diverted the radio telescope

Moxie secretly diverted the radio telescope to transmit his message to the aliens ship. He wanted to have the exclusive story. "My Interview with an Alien" was his dream title but

banished to Brazil by his Great Grandpapa Razzi, he'd have to settle with "Alien do Espaço Samba". The aliens didn’t understand Portuguese so instead of landing in Brazil

Nut Farms, they crash landed into the amazon river. All the space aliens died, but the fuel cores touch the river, transforming all the piranha into large scaly

they dug in. As the Cthuloids devoured classroom after classroom, their collective intelligence actually went down. They were not, in fact, smarter than a fifth-grader.

And fifth graders nowadays are ranked dead last in math and science! This is no April Fools prank, it's the new normal. The classrooms were not missed by anyone.

With the school system the way it is, it's hardly surprising that the demolished classrooms didn't cause a stir. Perhaps, the police officer thought as he stared at

the bloody body lying on the ground. Normally killing someone in the ruins of anything would cause such a racket that it could be heard from the moon. This obviously is

the body of a nun who had taken an oath of silence! Who would do such an awful thing to a holy woman? Perhaps it was a student of hers whose wrists had been slapped with her ruler.

Or perhaps it was her long forgotten prom date, whose heart she'd broken after she took his virginity. He sighed, placid, flaccid, finally satisfied.