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Back in college I started playing underwater

  • Back in college I started playing underwater hockey. Then when I was in Navy Seals I realized a team of dolphins could own the pool floor, so I quit the navy and

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  • decided to join the Dolphins. The call for playing pool rattled in my bones. But then, as I turned in my papers to relinquish my status from the Navy, a ghost popped out of ink and

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  • lost his color all over the new furniture. The absence of ink spelled out NO FUTURE FOR YOU PHONY. The Navy Secretary placed a Stop Gap on me & I was sent to weaponize the dolphins

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  • but the dolphins would only go so far before some ethical qualms would keep them from detonating where we wanted them to detonate. We didn't know where communications were breaking

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  • so we finally had to send for a dolphin whisperer. The dolphin whisperer didn't whisper. He eeked and squeaked and slapped. The first thing the dolphins said was they were ready to

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  • negotiate the human surrender. Otherwise it was "So long and thanks for all the fish". Dumpty Trumpy of course wasn't about to negotiate with the fishes over a fake story about sur

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  • vivors that weren't billionaires. He launched F52s at the dolphins but the dolphins defeated the fighters quite easily using sonic tweets that made the planes rattle themselves apa

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  • Rt and become black dust. Blimey, that 50 million dollop investment proved an embarrassing flop. Now what could he do to save his reputation and his marriage to Queen Sofia?

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  • Simple: He opened a sherbet shop. Queen Sofia loved sherbet, and so did all the people on the highway to Heck. Soon he had paid back the 50 million dollops and had sherbet as well.

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  • Why? Because it was a sherbet, that's why! And then, because his first shop did so well, he franchised out. Soon, Queen Sofia's Sherbet Shack was serving billions & billions!

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3 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Mar 15 2018 @ 19:56

    This gets the "Strangest Story of the Day" award! I like Woab's twist.

  2. Woab Mar 16 2018 @ 11:05

    Why thank you, Prof., old pal.

  3. LordVacuity Mar 18 2018 @ 01:22

    Yeah, billions and billions on the Cayman Planets because only billionaires can afford to move off planet once they've irretrievably soiled this earth.

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