The world has ended because of. . . .

Hmm.... well, perhaps the world HASN'T ended. Perhaps we only think it has. Perhaps it's what THEY want you to think! *gasp* THEY are controlling us! It's THEM! Quick, think happy

thoughts. (ice cream, sex, sunsets, the beach, laughing children, sleeping in, cotton underwear, long island iced teas, payday, foot massages, bonfires) The Thought Police smiled

at the thoughts ... all except for one. Who on earth likes those candy bars loaded with peanuts and sticky caramel anyway? The Thought Police were nuts but

what held them together was not caramel. It was not lawfulness as much as it was the hope that they could beat the tar out of anyone who dared think outside their candy box.

"Wait! That's it!" it dawned on them. The allure of the candy box...the chocolate pheromones oozing through the paper upon where the confection lay in wait...ready to attack

Let's bring this down to the precinct, under guise of wanting to thank our men in blue. After the carnage which is sure to ensure, we'll bust out Aunty and lay low in paris.

"But it looks so delicious. Let me have cake before it goes kablooey. It is so big too. Does it have a woman in side. I'm kidding, I know it isn't that big. Unless you cut her up."

And sure enough, there was a cut-up woman inside the cake. I cut the cake into equal slices and reverently removed the body parts.

The guests were unaware of the chopped body, as I sliced the cake in the darkened room. If only I could get rid of the body parts unnoticed! Then…some idiot turned on the lights.