A gentle but ominous wind sips through the

A gentle but ominous wind sips through the window; the curtains ripple and the door creaks. Jess was sure the windows were shut in the morning before she stepped out. She

grabbed her softball bat from her athletic bag and held it ready. She was sure someone was in the house. She just didn't know who. "If anyone's here I already called the police.

" A hard ball crashed through the window. She screamed and swung the bat. With a loud crack it flew back out. She heard a voice yell from the hole "YOU'D BETTER RUN HOME!"

And then another voice screamed, "Thanks for the ride lady!" And a hand burst through the glass and grabbed her by the hair

, smacked her against the window, stomped her in her face and then pulled her left eye-lid down to her nose. Or what was left of it. She spat out the last of her teeth, looked up

with a quickness so as to jab her angular jaw into her target's face, like a reverse cowgirl headbutt. She wanted to do more violence to this person, but time was of the essence.

She had to get back to the herd before they discovered she was missing.They couldn't suspect she was taking Kattle Karate at the Y twice a week.She planned on making her moooove

when the chickens in choppers came over the horizon to her aid. As a fully trained combat cow she would be able to join the underground movement against McDonalds and Burger King

hamburgers!" Chicken Chopper shot a missile at the last McDonald's on earth. They both breathed a sigh of releif, knowing that the torment was finally over.