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I awoke wondering Where i was, then When

  • I awoke wondering Where i was, then When I was, eyes still closed I took stock. All limbs in place, no major aches or pains, no hint of hangover. Age? I guessed mid 20's. Wrong!

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  • 23! I was still in my early 20s whatever anyone else says. Flashes of the previous night jumped into my consciousness like cheap Polaroid close-ups. Me. The senator. That broken

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  • hearted disc jockey who'd lost his savings day trading. The insane asylum. The

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  • insane asylum! The insane asylum! Why do the memories of the insane asylum still keep tormenting me?! Anyway, the disc jockey was depressed, but his losses weren't total because

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  • he was never really a happy dude to begin with, y'all know wut ah'm sayin'? Peace, yo, chill, dawg. So dat insane asylum haunted the disc jockey way up until the time of his

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  • wedding gig. There he was, about to play "Sunrise, Sunset." for the hunderth time. When he switched to Ice-Ts "Cop Killer."

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  • Ah, yes. You haven't lived until you've seen Grandma in the Wedding Pit shouting out "A pig stopped me for nuthin!" I busted out the cell phone cam for Me So Horny. The bridesmaids

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  • were all topless by that time and I truly didn1t know what to do...or whom! Whom?Who? (...) Whatever...Who cares about grammar at a wedding where even grandma is getting some?

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  • The Grammar Police do, that's who! After momentarily staring lasciviously at grandma's nekkid pendulous breasts swinging 'round the wedding dance floor, they handcuffed everyone &

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  • told granny to button up her cardigan. They handed around a sentence to parse yelling "Are we all having fun?" That's the Grammar Police for you, no idea how to have a good time.

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