I awoke wondering Where i was, then When

I awoke wondering Where i was, then When I was, eyes still closed I took stock. All limbs in place, no major aches or pains, no hint of hangover. Age? I guessed mid 20's. Wrong!

23! I was still in my early 20s whatever anyone else says. Flashes of the previous night jumped into my consciousness like cheap Polaroid close-ups. Me. The senator. That broken

hearted disc jockey who'd lost his savings day trading. The insane asylum. The

he was never really a happy dude to begin with, y'all know wut ah'm sayin'? Peace, yo, chill, dawg. So dat insane asylum haunted the disc jockey way up until the time of his

wedding gig. There he was, about to play "Sunrise, Sunset." for the hunderth time. When he switched to Ice-Ts "Cop Killer."

Ah, yes. You haven't lived until you've seen Grandma in the Wedding Pit shouting out "A pig stopped me for nuthin!" I busted out the cell phone cam for Me So Horny. The bridesmaids

were all topless by that time and I truly didn1t know what to do...or whom! Whom?Who? (...) Whatever...Who cares about grammar at a wedding where even grandma is getting some?

The Grammar Police do, that's who! After momentarily staring lasciviously at grandma's nekkid pendulous breasts swinging 'round the wedding dance floor, they handcuffed everyone &

told granny to button up her cardigan. They handed around a sentence to parse yelling "Are we all having fun?" That's the Grammar Police for you, no idea how to have a good time.