The woolen scarf was itchy. It was the embodiment

The woolen scarf was itchy. It was the embodiment of the reason why I didn't believe in love. You had to lie to people you cared about. "Yes, I like your scarf, honey".

She smiled, but the smile did not quite reach her eyes. Then it dawned on me. She'd wanted the scarf to itch! She'd knitted it out of boar bristles & wool. She wanted to punish me

for getting a Hello Kitty tattoo on my neck. I stuffed the boar bristle/wool scarf in her face, grabbed her phone, took a pic of my Hello Kitty tattoo, emailed it to all her contac

ts and tapped out "Call Me Maybe" on her skull. She spat out the scarf, took me out with a flying drop kick and sang "Gangham Style" at me in Korean. "Where did you learn Korean?"

"That does not matter, young grasshopper" The sensei said in a calm tone. "What does, is to learn the art of 'Bad-Meme-ish-Songs-Being-used-to-beat-scum-up'" "that's a long name" I

thought, but I kept my mouth shut because my Sensie has a really short fuse. Once I said, "grandafther..." and he broke by nose with a cough.

Bigsby and Kruthers had a big sale on his favourite coloured suit in deep purple. Sensie took Grandfather there to to buy it. They closed at midnight, for good. They had to hurry.

Gandalf the Grey as its spokesperson, but he was soon fired for using colorful language. Then there was the endless meetings about whether 56 shades of grey were actually hues.

Granted, Mr. Hughes and Mr. Hugh Grant met for some of the meetings. Gandalf the Grey gave way to Gandalf the White. Only the Green Knight and the Green Giant could say for sure.